Way Too Long

It has been way too long since I have updated my blog. My computer is essentially dead, so I only have internet access for a little bit when Kyle is home and doesn't need his computer. Since my last update we had our ultrasound and found out we are having a boy! We are very excited and are talking about names a bit more, but we are going to try to keep the name a secret. Kyle thinks secrets and surprises are fun, so we want to keep at least something a secret with this baby. We are still job searching in preparation for our move to the La Crosse area. Kyle had an interview with Ecolab, and we were really hoping for that job, but they seem like they are not going to be filling the position any time soon. We have decided that we can't wait for them. They said they would make a decision by May 8th, but Kyle called and they said they hadn't filled the position and didn't seem like they were going to.

I am trying to stay optimistic about finding a job and moving, but I am starting to worry about having to move really close to my due date, or even staying here until after the baby comes. If that happens I will be pretty much all alone, which would really suck. If we are already down in La Crosse I know all of the "stay at home mom" friends I have would help, and I was really counting on that with the second baby. I honestly don't know how I will survive if we are in Eau Claire when the baby comes. I know our mom's will help, but they work, so I can't expect too much from them. We will just be praying hard core for a job to come up this summer. I would like to be down there by August 1st, but if we had the choice to move a few weeks before I was due or deliver in Eau Claire, I would rather move. I can't imagine packing at 9 months pregnant, but that is more manageable than being home alone with Ella and a newborn. It is hard enough to be home with just Ella somedays!

What else is new? Let's see, we celebrated Ella's second birthday. I can't believe she is that old! We had a small family party at Kyle's parents house, and Ella had a blast. I haven't updloaded our pictures from her birthday to the computer yet, but here are some that I stole from my sister.

Here is Ella displaying many of her birthday presents from my parents and sister.

I borrowed a butterfly cake pan from my friend Megan. It was decorated nearly as well as she does, but it was still cute!

Tonight we took Ella to a park nearby after dinner and we met a really nice couple who just moved to Eau Claire a few weeks ago. They have two little boys, one that is just a few months older than Ella and a newborn. it makes me kind of sad that we are moving because it was really fun talking to them and the kids played well together. I would like to get to know them better but it seems kind of pointless when we are moving soon.

The mom had a c-section with her second baby and it was interesting to talk to her about how it is dealing with a toddler and a newborn after a c-section. I am going back and forth about having another c-section but I was afraid it would be too difficult because the recovery is longer and I wouldn't be able to carry Ella around. However, there is a chance that I could go through all the time and pain of labor just to find that I had the same problem as with Ella and would have to have a c-section again anyways. That would really suck! This woman said that it actually hasn't been too bad not being able to pick up her toddler. He is in a toddler bed now so he can climb in on his own and when he wants to be picked up because he got hurt or something, she just bends down and gives him a hug.

I really don't know what to do. There is a chance that I couldn't deliver Ella because my bone structure is such that it won't allow a baby to descend through the birth canal. I was stuck at 8 centimeters dilated for 12 hours despite doing everything we could to help my labor progress. the idea of going through all that again just to have a c-section anyways makes me cringe. It was so painful and exhausting, and completely unproductive. I can deal with the pain if I know it serves a purpose, but when it really didn't do any good, it just made me frustrated. I really am not concerned with how our baby comes into the world. I am not one of those women who really wants the experience of actually giving birth. I don't really feel like I missed out on anything by having a c-section with Ella. I just don't want to deal with the restrictions and painful recovery of a c-section. I am also not particularly concerned with any possible side effects of a c-section, since it went fine last time.

I guess my only dilemma is feeling kind of guilty for taking the easy way out by having a c-section, and the longer recovery time. It would be nice to have a planned c-section so we could coordinate having help with Ella and so it would be easier for family to come visit. I think Kyle and I will just have to talk a lot about it and weigh the pros and cons.

Space or Money?

As Kyle and I are starting to get closer to moving to Onalaska I have been thinking more and more about where we should live. We will be renting for quite awhile until we can pay off student loans and save up for a down payment on a house. We would both like a place that is nice enough for us to live in for as long as we are renting, which will probably be at least 5 years or more. Our dilemma at this point is deciding how much to put into rent. We would like to keep our rent low so that more income can go toward debt and saving for a house, but we also want a decent place with space for our growing family. Realistically if we want a place that has 3 bedrooms we will be paying a couple hundred more per month. I know our kids could share a room, but I wouldn't want Ella in the same room as a newborn who is waking up several times a night, and kyle and I really don't want the baby in our room either. It would be nice to have a third bedroom that could normally be the baby's room but could also be a guest room if people came to visit. We could definitely deal with the baby in our room for a few nights if it meant having space for visitors.

My biggest fear is moving backward. Our rental in Menomonie was tiny, and when we added Ella it became super cramped and kind of miserable. We had no space to move or get away from each other. I feel like if we are in the same size rental as we have now when we have this baby it will feel like it did when we had Ella. I can't imagine living in a totally cramped apartment with 2 kids for 5 years or more.

Technically we could probably swing it if we were paying $200 more per month, but it will take us longer to save up for a down payment and pay off our debt. Paying off our school debt is extremely important to us right now because we have a ton and the interest is crazy. Everyday we don't have it paid off we are losing money. With all of our debt we are accruing several hundred dollars of interest every month. It just doesn't make sense to only pay the minimum payment if we could be paying more.

So what is more important, saving money so we can buy a house sooner or being comfortable? Financially it would be better to make due with a smaller place, but we really want to enjoy where we are living. So what should we do?

Beautiful Spring Days

I am loving this spring weather! Ella and I have spent a ton of time outside the last few days and as a result we have both been in much better moods. I think Ella was getting a serious case of cabin fever and was very crabby the last few weeks. When Kyle got home last night he spent some time outside with Ella too, and he had the freedom to throw her as far as he wanted! She loved it, and just so you know, Kyle has never dropped Ella when he does crazy things like that with her, which is pretty much every day. In this picture it looks like Ella is about to hit the power line but they were actually not anywhere close to the lines.

More Bath Time Fun

Yesterday Kyle needed to shower and Ella needed a bath, so Kyle put his swim trunks on and jumped into the bath with Ella. They both had a great time, and I enjoyed watching! Watching Ella and Kyle interact is one of my favorite things. They have so much fun together. I will post a picture of their outdoor fun in the glorious weather today in my next post. Let's just say Ella is definitely NOT afraid of heights!

P.S. I am still feeling great with this pregnancy and showing more and more. I am planning on starting to take belly shots soon. I can't believe I am already in my 2nd trimester! My friend Chrissy lives next door and she had a baby last week. Spending time with them makes me excited to have this baby, although I am glad I am not due any time soon! I definitely appreciate the length of pregnancy. I might not feel that way by my 3rd trimester but I am glad right now that I have plenty of time to prepare and get Ella used to being around other new babies. There will be 3 new babies in our group of friends before ours comes so Ella will be spending a lot of time with little babies and getting practice with being gentle. So far she is very jealous when I hold Chrissy's son Elijah. That will need to change!

A Good Week

This past week has been a really good pregnancy week. The nausea is essentially gone, I am not quite so hungry and I am not as tired. I have still been napping quite a bit, but I think that is more because of staying up late to watch the olympics than being pregnant. The one thing that still plagues me is chicken. I can eat it if it is shredded, but chunks just get to me. I think there just needs to be enough other stuff and flavors that I can't actually taste the chicken and then I will be fine.

The best thing about this past week was hearing the baby's heartbeat! Kyle bought me an at home doppler for my birthday when I was pregnant with Ella and we decided to try it out this week, not really expecting to hear anything because it is still early, but after about 20 minutes of trying we found the heartbeat! It was very fast, about 176 beats per minute, which is normal at only 11 weeks pregnant. On Friday I have my 12 week appointment, which would be more exciting if we hadn't already heard the heartbeat.

I feel so grateful to be through the rough early weeks and so excited for the upcoming months. I love the second trimester; none of the morning sickness, starting to show, and feeling the baby move, without being super huge and uncomfortable. It is strange to think in 2 months I will be noticeably pregnant and my baby girl will be 2 years old! Where has the time gone?

Belly Growth

When I was pregnant with Ella I didn't start showing until about 17 weeks and I don't think I gained a pound until my 20 week check up. This time around is definitely different. The battery is dead on our scale so I don't actually know how much weight I have gained, but I am pretty sure I have gained some weight. My jeans are getting a little tighter and when I lay on my stomach it feels like there is a little bump. I read in my pregnancy book that my uterus is about the size of a grapefruit now, so it makes sense that I would be able to feel it right now. I have also heard that the uterus grows faster after your first pregnancy, so I was expecting to start showing sooner, but not quite so soon! I will be 10 weeks on Friday, and I am guessing I will have to start wearing maternity pants in the next few weeks.

It is interesting to think back to how it was when I was pregnant with Ella and compare how different it is now. I don't think about being pregnant or daydream about what it will be like to have this baby nearly as much as I thought about Ella. I think part of that might be because I know what is coming and I am scared! I know in the long run we will be so happy to have another child and it will be great for Ella to have a live in playmate, but I am also anticipating lots of sleepless nights and crying. Right now most of what I think about is how to survive the exhaustion, intense hunger and nausea. I am so thankful that Ella takes a really good afternoon nap. This morning I had a headache and just felt awful all morning, but I napped when Ella did and woke up feeling a ton better and didn't feel sick the rest of the day. Hopefully I will be able to train the baby to sleep at the same time as Ella so I can get a nap in every once in awhile! I'm not holding my breath... :)