Way Too Long

It has been way too long since I have updated my blog. My computer is essentially dead, so I only have internet access for a little bit when Kyle is home and doesn't need his computer. Since my last update we had our ultrasound and found out we are having a boy! We are very excited and are talking about names a bit more, but we are going to try to keep the name a secret. Kyle thinks secrets and surprises are fun, so we want to keep at least something a secret with this baby. We are still job searching in preparation for our move to the La Crosse area. Kyle had an interview with Ecolab, and we were really hoping for that job, but they seem like they are not going to be filling the position any time soon. We have decided that we can't wait for them. They said they would make a decision by May 8th, but Kyle called and they said they hadn't filled the position and didn't seem like they were going to.

I am trying to stay optimistic about finding a job and moving, but I am starting to worry about having to move really close to my due date, or even staying here until after the baby comes. If that happens I will be pretty much all alone, which would really suck. If we are already down in La Crosse I know all of the "stay at home mom" friends I have would help, and I was really counting on that with the second baby. I honestly don't know how I will survive if we are in Eau Claire when the baby comes. I know our mom's will help, but they work, so I can't expect too much from them. We will just be praying hard core for a job to come up this summer. I would like to be down there by August 1st, but if we had the choice to move a few weeks before I was due or deliver in Eau Claire, I would rather move. I can't imagine packing at 9 months pregnant, but that is more manageable than being home alone with Ella and a newborn. It is hard enough to be home with just Ella somedays!

What else is new? Let's see, we celebrated Ella's second birthday. I can't believe she is that old! We had a small family party at Kyle's parents house, and Ella had a blast. I haven't updloaded our pictures from her birthday to the computer yet, but here are some that I stole from my sister.

Here is Ella displaying many of her birthday presents from my parents and sister.

I borrowed a butterfly cake pan from my friend Megan. It was decorated nearly as well as she does, but it was still cute!

Tonight we took Ella to a park nearby after dinner and we met a really nice couple who just moved to Eau Claire a few weeks ago. They have two little boys, one that is just a few months older than Ella and a newborn. it makes me kind of sad that we are moving because it was really fun talking to them and the kids played well together. I would like to get to know them better but it seems kind of pointless when we are moving soon.

The mom had a c-section with her second baby and it was interesting to talk to her about how it is dealing with a toddler and a newborn after a c-section. I am going back and forth about having another c-section but I was afraid it would be too difficult because the recovery is longer and I wouldn't be able to carry Ella around. However, there is a chance that I could go through all the time and pain of labor just to find that I had the same problem as with Ella and would have to have a c-section again anyways. That would really suck! This woman said that it actually hasn't been too bad not being able to pick up her toddler. He is in a toddler bed now so he can climb in on his own and when he wants to be picked up because he got hurt or something, she just bends down and gives him a hug.

I really don't know what to do. There is a chance that I couldn't deliver Ella because my bone structure is such that it won't allow a baby to descend through the birth canal. I was stuck at 8 centimeters dilated for 12 hours despite doing everything we could to help my labor progress. the idea of going through all that again just to have a c-section anyways makes me cringe. It was so painful and exhausting, and completely unproductive. I can deal with the pain if I know it serves a purpose, but when it really didn't do any good, it just made me frustrated. I really am not concerned with how our baby comes into the world. I am not one of those women who really wants the experience of actually giving birth. I don't really feel like I missed out on anything by having a c-section with Ella. I just don't want to deal with the restrictions and painful recovery of a c-section. I am also not particularly concerned with any possible side effects of a c-section, since it went fine last time.

I guess my only dilemma is feeling kind of guilty for taking the easy way out by having a c-section, and the longer recovery time. It would be nice to have a planned c-section so we could coordinate having help with Ella and so it would be easier for family to come visit. I think Kyle and I will just have to talk a lot about it and weigh the pros and cons.

Space or Money?

As Kyle and I are starting to get closer to moving to Onalaska I have been thinking more and more about where we should live. We will be renting for quite awhile until we can pay off student loans and save up for a down payment on a house. We would both like a place that is nice enough for us to live in for as long as we are renting, which will probably be at least 5 years or more. Our dilemma at this point is deciding how much to put into rent. We would like to keep our rent low so that more income can go toward debt and saving for a house, but we also want a decent place with space for our growing family. Realistically if we want a place that has 3 bedrooms we will be paying a couple hundred more per month. I know our kids could share a room, but I wouldn't want Ella in the same room as a newborn who is waking up several times a night, and kyle and I really don't want the baby in our room either. It would be nice to have a third bedroom that could normally be the baby's room but could also be a guest room if people came to visit. We could definitely deal with the baby in our room for a few nights if it meant having space for visitors.

My biggest fear is moving backward. Our rental in Menomonie was tiny, and when we added Ella it became super cramped and kind of miserable. We had no space to move or get away from each other. I feel like if we are in the same size rental as we have now when we have this baby it will feel like it did when we had Ella. I can't imagine living in a totally cramped apartment with 2 kids for 5 years or more.

Technically we could probably swing it if we were paying $200 more per month, but it will take us longer to save up for a down payment and pay off our debt. Paying off our school debt is extremely important to us right now because we have a ton and the interest is crazy. Everyday we don't have it paid off we are losing money. With all of our debt we are accruing several hundred dollars of interest every month. It just doesn't make sense to only pay the minimum payment if we could be paying more.

So what is more important, saving money so we can buy a house sooner or being comfortable? Financially it would be better to make due with a smaller place, but we really want to enjoy where we are living. So what should we do?

Beautiful Spring Days

I am loving this spring weather! Ella and I have spent a ton of time outside the last few days and as a result we have both been in much better moods. I think Ella was getting a serious case of cabin fever and was very crabby the last few weeks. When Kyle got home last night he spent some time outside with Ella too, and he had the freedom to throw her as far as he wanted! She loved it, and just so you know, Kyle has never dropped Ella when he does crazy things like that with her, which is pretty much every day. In this picture it looks like Ella is about to hit the power line but they were actually not anywhere close to the lines.

More Bath Time Fun

Yesterday Kyle needed to shower and Ella needed a bath, so Kyle put his swim trunks on and jumped into the bath with Ella. They both had a great time, and I enjoyed watching! Watching Ella and Kyle interact is one of my favorite things. They have so much fun together. I will post a picture of their outdoor fun in the glorious weather today in my next post. Let's just say Ella is definitely NOT afraid of heights!

P.S. I am still feeling great with this pregnancy and showing more and more. I am planning on starting to take belly shots soon. I can't believe I am already in my 2nd trimester! My friend Chrissy lives next door and she had a baby last week. Spending time with them makes me excited to have this baby, although I am glad I am not due any time soon! I definitely appreciate the length of pregnancy. I might not feel that way by my 3rd trimester but I am glad right now that I have plenty of time to prepare and get Ella used to being around other new babies. There will be 3 new babies in our group of friends before ours comes so Ella will be spending a lot of time with little babies and getting practice with being gentle. So far she is very jealous when I hold Chrissy's son Elijah. That will need to change!

A Good Week

This past week has been a really good pregnancy week. The nausea is essentially gone, I am not quite so hungry and I am not as tired. I have still been napping quite a bit, but I think that is more because of staying up late to watch the olympics than being pregnant. The one thing that still plagues me is chicken. I can eat it if it is shredded, but chunks just get to me. I think there just needs to be enough other stuff and flavors that I can't actually taste the chicken and then I will be fine.

The best thing about this past week was hearing the baby's heartbeat! Kyle bought me an at home doppler for my birthday when I was pregnant with Ella and we decided to try it out this week, not really expecting to hear anything because it is still early, but after about 20 minutes of trying we found the heartbeat! It was very fast, about 176 beats per minute, which is normal at only 11 weeks pregnant. On Friday I have my 12 week appointment, which would be more exciting if we hadn't already heard the heartbeat.

I feel so grateful to be through the rough early weeks and so excited for the upcoming months. I love the second trimester; none of the morning sickness, starting to show, and feeling the baby move, without being super huge and uncomfortable. It is strange to think in 2 months I will be noticeably pregnant and my baby girl will be 2 years old! Where has the time gone?

Belly Growth

When I was pregnant with Ella I didn't start showing until about 17 weeks and I don't think I gained a pound until my 20 week check up. This time around is definitely different. The battery is dead on our scale so I don't actually know how much weight I have gained, but I am pretty sure I have gained some weight. My jeans are getting a little tighter and when I lay on my stomach it feels like there is a little bump. I read in my pregnancy book that my uterus is about the size of a grapefruit now, so it makes sense that I would be able to feel it right now. I have also heard that the uterus grows faster after your first pregnancy, so I was expecting to start showing sooner, but not quite so soon! I will be 10 weeks on Friday, and I am guessing I will have to start wearing maternity pants in the next few weeks.

It is interesting to think back to how it was when I was pregnant with Ella and compare how different it is now. I don't think about being pregnant or daydream about what it will be like to have this baby nearly as much as I thought about Ella. I think part of that might be because I know what is coming and I am scared! I know in the long run we will be so happy to have another child and it will be great for Ella to have a live in playmate, but I am also anticipating lots of sleepless nights and crying. Right now most of what I think about is how to survive the exhaustion, intense hunger and nausea. I am so thankful that Ella takes a really good afternoon nap. This morning I had a headache and just felt awful all morning, but I napped when Ella did and woke up feeling a ton better and didn't feel sick the rest of the day. Hopefully I will be able to train the baby to sleep at the same time as Ella so I can get a nap in every once in awhile! I'm not holding my breath... :)

Boy or Girl?

When we were pregnant with Ella I was convinced I was having a boy and for some reason I really wanted to have a boy. I can't really remember why I wanted a boy anymore, but I did. I thought that with our second pregnancy I would have a very strong desire to go one way or the other because I would like to have one of each, but I find myself not really caring right now. I have reasons for wanting both. I would like a boy since we already have a girl and I would like to experience parenting both a girl and boy. But I also think that it would be really fun for Ella to have a little sister. Plus, I already have lots of cute girl clothes! Although half the stuff probably wouldn't work because this next one will be born in a totally different season than Ella, our spring baby. I really liked having a spring baby and would have liked another, but God had different timing for us, and as always He knew better. Having our second baby this spring would have been chaotic and very stressful with us moving most likely at the end of May. I am so grateful to be able to get the move out of the way and be relatively settled before adding another one to the family.

I don't think we will be finding out what we are having this time around. We didn't find out with Ella either and it was exciting to be surprised. I am not all that concerned with being surprised again, I would rather know if I am going to have to buy a whole new boy wardrobe. However, according to my husband being practical is not nearly as much fun as being surprised!

Are You Ready For This!?!?

Well, ready or not, here it comes! Most of you probably already know that I am pregnant, but I thought I should write about it anyways. I am now 7 weeks along with an expected due date of September 10th. I am doing ok so far, although I feel nauseated most of the time and I am pretty tired too. I only actually threw up once when I was pregnant with Ella, so I am assuming it will probably be similar this time around. Ella seems pretty excited about the baby, although she doesn't really know what is going on. She does point to my stomach when we ask where the baby is. She was also playing with my friend Chelsea's stomach the other day and seemed to understand that there was a baby in there. Chelsea is 34 weeks along so it is nice to show Ella what mama will look like soon.

Ella will be almost 2 1/2 when the baby is born. I think that will be a nice gap- close enough for them to be good friends but far enough apart that Ella will be able to help out. She is already really good at getting things for us or throwing things away when we ask her. I think Ella will be a great big sister! I also think she will struggle with being jealous for awhile, but hopefully she will be excited enough about the baby that it won't be too much trouble.

Kissy Kissy

This isn't a new picture but it works well with the theme of my post, and its cute, so I thought you could all enjoy it! We have always been very affectionate with Ella, giving her hugs and kisses all the time. Sometimes she pretends not to want affection, but she really loves it! She also loves it when Kyle and I are affectionate with each other. When Ella was younger she would always smile when Kyle and I hugged or when he kissed me goodbye in the morning. In the last few days Ella has actually started pushing our heads together to make us kiss!



I think it is very important for parents to show that they love each other in front of their kids. Knowing that their parents love each other gives kids a sense of security, and is also a really good example for the kind of love they could have in the future. Of course when I was a kid I would aways complain when my parents kissed in front of me, but I always appreciated knowing that they loved each other and they would never get a divorce. I want Kyle and I to always be an example of what a truly loving marriage looks like.

Regrets

You know when you do something that you know you shouldn't do but you do it anyway, and then it comes back to bite you in the butt? Well, I am feeling that right now. I didn't want to wake Ella up from her morning nap today because when I wake her up she tends to be really crabby. Now she is refusing to take her afternoon nap and we have small group tonight. It would be really nice if she slept now so she will do well tonight. It seems like this happens a lot. Every time I swear I will never let her sleep too late in the morning again, but I know I will. Because sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to keep her schedule so tight.

Cookie Baking 2009

Every year for the last 20 years my mom's family has gotten together to do a Christmas cookie exchange, and let me tell you, it is the best day of the Christmas season. Christmas eve and day are fun and everything, but there is just something about our annual cookie baking day that is near and dear to my heart. I love my mom's family, but there are a lot of them and so on Christmas day it is pretty crazy and kind of difficult to have a whole lot of quality time with everyone, especially since we now divide our time with my family and Kyle's. But on cookie baking day it is mostly my aunts, my mom and sister, and my Grandma, with a few cousins thrown in and random extra people. It is a bit smaller (not that anything is small in a family of nearly 50!) and so much fun! We listen to Christmas music cranked up loud and help each other make cookies. There is a lot of laughter and reminiscing about past years and how our family has grown and changed. Except for one year when the kitchen was being remodeled, my mom has hosted every cookie baking. I think there is something special about having this day on the farm. Maybe its just me, but Christmas feels more Christmas-ey when it is on a farm. I suppose I just feel that way because I grew up on a farm.


I stole some pictures from my sister's facebook page to give all of my none family member blog readers an idea of what the day is like:

Here I am showing off dough I mixed up for my mom

Ella "helped" organize the cut outs for sugar cookies

Here are my aunts Paula, Cathy, and Carla, Carla's daughter Calli and me working on cookies

Ella's Words and Noises

Ella has always been a pretty vocal person, but she hasn't used a whole lot of words until just recently. They say that toddlers have a verbal explosion around 18 months, and that is definitely true of Ella. There were a handful of words and names that she has known for a long time, but these days it seems like she is repeating new words almost every day. Here are some of her new favorites:

Monkey
Back
Neck
Wet
Apple
Uck
Duck- luckily she is really good at doing the "d" sound!

She says more than that, but those are the newest and most used. She still doesn't use sentences, or even 2 words together. Hopefully soon she will start actually talking so we won't be so clueless as to what she wants. Another new verbal thing for Ella is making animal noises. Until a few weeks ago she only did cat, dog and cow noises. Now she can do almost every farm animal and some extras. The other animal noises she makes are:

Horse
Pig
Sheep
Goat
Chicken/bird/duck- they all sound the same
Owl
Monkey
Lion/Tiger

The best one is her pig noise. She won't do it very often, but I think it is hilarious! It is really exciting to hear her repeating more words and then remembering them later and randomly saying them. It really does seem like she learns a new word almost every day.

New Man in Ella's Life

Several times I have posted pictures of Ella with the leading man in her life, our friend's son Hurshle. Well, Hurshle moved this fall and there is a new little man competing for Ella's love. His name is Owen and he is another friend's son. He is a bit younger than Ella; in fact he will turn 1 on Christmas Eve. We have babysat him a few times in the last couple months, and Ella loves it when he comes over!

Giving Owen a hug

Parallel Play

Drinking buddies

Fall Fun

It has been a long time since I have posted anything, so I think my goal will be a new post every day this week. I will start with some fun fall pictures I took a really long time ago before this snow storm we are currently being hit with.

This fall I raked up a big pile of leaves for Ella to play in. She actually liked playing with the rake more than playing in the leaves. It is very difficult to get good pictures of Ella because she wants to play with the camera every time she sees it, but here are a few anyways.

She kind of looks like she is swimming through the leaves

Here she was playing with the rake (until she saw the camera!)

This one is somewhat cute

Yay for Productivity!

Today during Ella's morning nap I got a ton done. I cleaned the bathroom, took a shower, got dinner going in the crockpot, balanced our checkbook and ordered some things online for Kyle and Ella! Then Ella got up, we had lunch and went to Walmart to return a few things that I found cheaper online and got groceries. I love days like that, when I get so much done in the morning that I can relax during Ella's afternoon nap. I think I am going to try just doing one nap for Ella from now on though. I have been debating it for a long time, and I don't think Ella is quite ready, but I think I need to. Nowadays by the time she gets up from her second nap it is dark out and she is totally disoriented. She ends up crying a lot and being pretty crabby. I don't think it is worth it anymore to deal with all that when I am trying to make dinner. I think I will mourn the loss of my afternoon break for a long time. Right now when she only takes one nap she doesn't sleep any longer than if she was taking two, but I think over time she will adjust. She will need to just stay up longer in the morning before napping so she is more tired and her sleep is more evenly distributed. I think I will try putting her down an hour later than normal, and slowly keep pushing it back until she is napping from about 1:00-3:00 (or 4:00!). Right now she naps from 10-11 and 3:30-5:00. Tomorrow she will probably be fine even if it doesn't work very well because I am watching Ella's friend Owen during the afternoon and we have small group in the evening so Ella will get even more play time with friends. That always helps her from being crabby.

Oh Papa

Ella really loves her Papa. Every time she hears the door open she says "Papa?" and she comes running when he gets home at night. She loves rough housing with Kyle and sitting on his lap while he works on his computer. I don't think Kyle even realizes how much she adores him. Tonight he came home from work and started helping a friend work on his car, so Ella really didn't get to see him but she knew he was out there and she was not happy about it. She was crying for him so often that I finally went out and asked Kyle to come inside and spend some time with her. I felt kind of bad because his friend's car wouldn't work until they finished, but Ella needed him. You should have seen how excited Ella was to see Kyle! She followed him around all over while he washed his hands, just waiting for him to pick her up. It was very sweet to see. Seeing her love for Kyle inspired me to dedicate a blog to Ella and Papa moments.

The Pants On The Head Game

Ella used to love to stand on Kyle's hands



Ella looks really angry but actually Kyle is just pushing her forehead down

Ella never liked this sling as a baby, but Kyle put her in it one day and she was happy as a clam

Ella's absolute favorite thing to do with Kyle is bath time. He asks her if she wants a bath and she stops whatever she is doing and runs to the bathroom.

Kyle spraying Ella down on a hot summer day

Good and Bad

Today Ella had her 18 month check up. The good news is that she is right on track, 50th percentile for weight and about 40th percentile for height. I am not so sure on her weight though because she was wearing clothes, shoes and a thick fleece jacket. Whatever, I am just glad to hear she is doing well. Lately she hasn't been eating very well, so I wasn't sure how her weight would be.

The bad news? She has the flu. She has a fever and a cough, then I described symptoms Kyle has had recently (fever, cough, chills, aches, fatigue, etc) and they decided to put Ella on Tamiflu and swabbed her nose to make sure she has the flu. The rapid test came back positive for Influenza A, and the nurse said that the test for H1N1 takes a few days but most times when the first one is positive then the second one is as well. So it looks like Kyle and Ella probably have H1N1. That kind of sucks, but it really doesn't seem that bad. Other than not eating well and being whiny (which is normal) Ella seems fine. She was her normal active self all day long, and Kyle doesn't feel good but he isn't bedridden or anything. I asked if Kyle should go into the clinic, and our doctor said that he will probably be fine since he is normally really healthy. They are more concerned about people who are children, elderly people, pregnant women and unhealthy people, so Kyle should be fine. Someone died from H1N1 here in Eau Claire, but she already had health problems.

Ella doesn't like her medicine, so I just mixed it in with her milk. She has to go back in 2 weeks to make sure the medicine worked and to get her vaccinations. I suppose she won't have to get a flu shot now, so that is good. One less shot is always good! I am glad we caught it early and the medicine will kick it out of her system before it gets bad. We will be seeing family this weekend, but Ella will have had enough of the medicine to not be contagious anymore. I asked our doctor to make sure because some of my cousins are still pretty young.

When?

When will it get better? When Ella was a newborn and cried constantly, we were just waiting for her to get older so she would get over the colicky stage and our eardrums could heal. And it got better, for a little while. She started eating and sleeping better and we were feeling pretty good about having her in our lives. Then teething started and it got worse. Then she stopped teething and it got better. Then she started being really clingy and cried whenever I wasn't giving her my undivided attention. Then she got a little better about entertaining herself. Then teething started again. Then the teeth came through and she was fun again. Then she started throwing temper tantrums multiple times daily. Then she started acting out in stores and I would have to leave before I was done shopping. Then she just whined all the time. Then she started refusing just about every food I tried to give her. Then she cried the entire way home from Galesville (a little more than an hour away) when she could have been sleeping.

WHEN WILL IT GET BETTER!?!?!?

Earlier this week Ella and I were having a great time together and I was feeling so awesome about being her mom and getting to spend my days with her, but something always changes and it always starts feeling like more than I can take. Being a mother is definitely the biggest trial I have ever been put through and it is sucking the life out of me right now. I tried to prepare myself for motherhood, but I don't think I could have possibly prepared myself for how challenging Ella is. And the hardest thing is that it is rare for anyone else to experience Ella being this way because she is pretty well behaved when there are other people around and babies to play with. I honestly feel like no one can understand what I am going through. At this point I have basically given up all hope that Ella will ever be a better behaved child. I have a strong willed child who is going to fight me every single step of the way her entire life, so I better get used to it. I better get some sleep now, because tomorrow I have to get up and do it all over again. Oh joy.

25 Years

It has been way too long since I last updated. I guess nothing exciting has happened lately. Well, yesterday was my 25th birthday. It is funny how much life changes as I get older and have a family. I remember when I was younger, even in college, and I thought my birthday was a day to be lazy and do whatever I want. I really don't have that luxury anymore. I can't take the day off work or ignore housework. Not that I did a ton yesterday, but I did do dishes and laundry, along with taking care of Ella of course. We did have some fun though too. Ella and I went to the mall with my friend Megan and her daughter Emma to play in the afternoon. It was fun to spend time with Megan, and Ella absolutely adores Emma, so she was quite excited. Then we sent Ella over to our friends, the Crammonds, to play with their son Owen while Kyle and I went out for dinner. Ella also gets pretty excited to see Owen, so Ella had a great day! It is very rare to eat dinner without trying to feed Ella at the same time. I found myself eating really fast, then realized that I could take my time and it was much more enjoyable! It was fun to have an actual uninterrupted conversation with Kyle. On Sunday we will head over to my parent's house to celebrate my birthday with my family.

This weekend is going to be packed. On Saturday we will be spending the day helping our friends, the Becker's, move down to the La Crosse area, then on Sunday we have a bunch of stuff going on at church before heading to Baldwin. I have to work in the nursery, Kyle is playing drums in the band, we will help serve a meal at church and then we have a church plant meeting. Somewhere in there I will head home with Ella so she can take a nap. Yikes! Ella will love it though because she will get to play with friends and family all day long.


And just because I think posts without pictures are boring, here is one of Ella with pigtails again. Her hair is longer than last time so it worked better. She still won't leave them in but it is fun to try every once in awhile. I have a dream of someday doing fun things with her hair. It may be just that, a dream!