Tonight we took Ella to a park nearby after dinner and we met a really nice couple who just moved to Eau Claire a few weeks ago. They have two little boys, one that is just a few months older than Ella and a newborn. it makes me kind of sad that we are moving because it was really fun talking to them and the kids played well together. I would like to get to know them better but it seems kind of pointless when we are moving soon.

The mom had a c-section with her second baby and it was interesting to talk to her about how it is dealing with a toddler and a newborn after a c-section. I am going back and forth about having another c-section but I was afraid it would be too difficult because the recovery is longer and I wouldn't be able to carry Ella around. However, there is a chance that I could go through all the time and pain of labor just to find that I had the same problem as with Ella and would have to have a c-section again anyways. That would really suck! This woman said that it actually hasn't been too bad not being able to pick up her toddler. He is in a toddler bed now so he can climb in on his own and when he wants to be picked up because he got hurt or something, she just bends down and gives him a hug.

I really don't know what to do. There is a chance that I couldn't deliver Ella because my bone structure is such that it won't allow a baby to descend through the birth canal. I was stuck at 8 centimeters dilated for 12 hours despite doing everything we could to help my labor progress. the idea of going through all that again just to have a c-section anyways makes me cringe. It was so painful and exhausting, and completely unproductive. I can deal with the pain if I know it serves a purpose, but when it really didn't do any good, it just made me frustrated. I really am not concerned with how our baby comes into the world. I am not one of those women who really wants the experience of actually giving birth. I don't really feel like I missed out on anything by having a c-section with Ella. I just don't want to deal with the restrictions and painful recovery of a c-section. I am also not particularly concerned with any possible side effects of a c-section, since it went fine last time.

I guess my only dilemma is feeling kind of guilty for taking the easy way out by having a c-section, and the longer recovery time. It would be nice to have a planned c-section so we could coordinate having help with Ella and so it would be easier for family to come visit. I think Kyle and I will just have to talk a lot about it and weigh the pros and cons.