I Love My Daughter

I am reading a book written from the perspective of many different women, one of them being a first time mom of a 2 month old. She is having a hard time and it reminds me of what it was like for me when Ella was a newborn. I honestly didn't know if I was going to survive. I didn't know if I really loved my daughter. I don't think I had postpartum depression, but it was rough. We got through it though and now when I watch Ella playing on the floor or crawling toward me so excited to see me, I know that I love my little girl. She is so sweet, and she is still tough (right now she is screaming in her crib because she doesn't want to nap) but it is worth it. People have started asking me when we are going to have another baby quite often lately. The first few times it was brought up I was horrified at the thought of going through the newborn stage again. But now when I think about how hard it was, I actually feel hopeful that it will be better next time. I think it was good to have such a tough first child because now I am prepared for anything. I know that juggling two children will make it harder in some ways, but I learned so much and I will do so many things different next time and I really feel like it will run more smoothly. I already have a list started of things I am going to do different! Maybe I am kidding myself and I don't have a clue what I will be getting myself into, but I am excited to see what it would be like to actually enjoy having a newborn. It will probably be a while still before we have another baby though, so don't get any ideas!